Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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