It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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