Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
