Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I believe in your delicious
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
