Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
