I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
