Where did you get a picture of my penis
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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