Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
