Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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