I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
