Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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