I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
