love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
