The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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