You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
