The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
