Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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