I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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