If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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