I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
