Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
