I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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