somebody snuck up and got me drunk
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
