She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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