Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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