i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
porn star boner night. come get it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
