Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
