omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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