The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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