no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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