I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize