just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
