Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
