you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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