My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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