just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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