I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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