I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
