I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
nutella sex= disaster
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
