Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
