i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
