This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
