I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
