Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
