he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
