hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
