haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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