were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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