you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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