Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
