I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
