After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
