I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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