Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Couch. On fire.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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