I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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