I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm at about main and main street
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
