Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
