maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
