You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.