i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?