Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.