arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
