OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
