my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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