Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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