I've blown a few things in my day
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
