Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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