great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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