I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize