dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
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we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
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You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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